In the context of verbal judo, what is the first step?

• A. Shout instructions
• B. Ask
• C. Walk away
• D. Threaten

Answer: (B)

In verbal judo, starting with asking sets the tone for a cooperative solution. When you ask questions, you invite the other person to share their perspective, which reduces defensiveness and shows respect. This approach helps you quickly gather essential information, understand their needs, and identify options that might work for both sides. It also buys you time to think and diffuse emotion rather than escalating the situation. Shouting instructions or threatening tends to raise tension and push the other person further away from a resolution, while walking away, although sometimes appropriate, isn’t the first-step strategy for de-escalation. Asking first keeps the conversation constructive and increases the chance of voluntary compliance.